Not much going on this weekend. I’ll be honest…I was hoping to have plans for a date with…someone…at some point this weekend, but it appears that isn’t going to happen.
I’m trying to understand this. I’ve tried to be very direct about what I’m looking for, but I can’t seem to hold anyone’s interest long enough to actually get to meet them. I seem to get lots of initial interest, and sometimes we’ll get to a phone call, but then they say “I’ll call you again”…and they don’t. I’m not sure why it happens, but it happens consistently. It’s very frustrating.
I even had one guy call me, then the cell carrier dropped the line in the middle of our conversation. I tried to call him back but he was still out of range, I guess. So I sent him an email telling him we must have gotten cut off and asking him to call again when he could. I never heard from him again. He just disappeared…mid-sentence.
I have to wonder if there’s something I’m doing wrong…or not doing…that might be getting in the way of my goals. I’m just trying to meet some quality people, and hopefully in time one of them would be a good fit for a long term relationship.
The thing is, I am happy with my life. I enjoy my friends, have lots of interests, keep myself very busy…I’d like to share that with someone. But every time I put myself out there I end up feeling really bad about myself. Like there must be something wrong with me if no one can stay interested long enough to get to know me.
I dunno. I’m thinking I should give up on my idea that I’ll find someone who actually wants to date me. Apparently I’m supposed to be focusing my energies elsewhere at this time in my life. The problem is, “this time of my life” has been going on for a long time. I’m ready for a change.
I’m guess I’m a little negative tonight…I just got stood up.
Mel Erickson: Writer, Traveler, Observer, Occasional Deep Thinker 