Tag: Dreams

DREAM: Recurring Highway Scene

I had a dream the other night that included a highway scene that was strangely familiar. I don’t remember other parts of the dream, only being on this highway.

There were lots of criss-crosses and ups and downs – kind of like a roller coaster for cars. As I drove along the tangle of roads, I got into a wrong lane, which forced me to exit at the wrong place. The only way to fix it was to circle back around the whole mess so I could get back into the correct lane so that I could take the exit that would take me to my intended destination. This loop I had to take took me miles out of my way and cost me a lot of time. I was frustrated.

The general message I get from this segment of dream is that I am off track and running behind.

When I woke from the dream I thought, That highway scene was familiar. I wonder where it’s from? I searched my brain trying to remember when and where in my past I had seen – and driven – that cluster of highway. Was it Binghamton, NY where I spent my mid-20’s to late 30’s? Definitely not. Was it Harrisburg, PA where I spent my teens and early 20’s? Possibly. It had the appropriate feel for that area of the country, but I couldn’t place it in my mind. I Google-Mapped. Nothing.

As I continued to ponder the origin of this memory, it struck me that this felt more like a recurring dream than a real place. And I believe that to be true. Now that I’ve thought about it even more, I am convinced I have dreamt about this jumble of highway not just once, but multiple times over a period of many years, and even though I don’t remember the remaining details of my recent dream, I get the feeling the other bits and pieces of the other dreams were much different. Not because I remember them, but because it feels that way. I am guessing this scene has played in my dreams at least three times, and the first two times were long ago – maybe 10 to 15 years.

What an interesting phenomenon, not just that my mind created this highway system once, but that it has reused that dream segment several times over many years! This is the stuff of…dreams. (Ha!) The mysterious bits and pieces…video clips that are strung together in seemingly random ways that sometimes provide insight into our subconscious – and sometimes just confuse!

Have you had recurring dreams over the years? Have you had scenes replay over a period of years? Do you gain insight from your dreams? I’d love to hear your stories!

DREAM: Nobody Cares What I Want

A few months ago I had a dream that rattled me a bit. It took me a while to get over it and feel comfortable posting it. Here it is:

I was at a house where I was going to meet my sisters and my mother. We were apparently going to vacation together. I had gotten there a day or so ahead of everyone, so I settled into one of the rooms. In this room there was a soaker tub, which is one of my favorite things. (Odd that it was inside a bedroom, but…)

I had gone out on the day that everyone else arrived, and when I came back, I went back to the room I had been using and found that the tub had been moved to another wall in the room and where it had been there was a shower with a very shallow tub.

“You moved the tub?” I said to Mother, incredulously.

“Yes,” she said. “I wanted a shower.”

“Is the tub even connected?”

“No. We don’t need it.”

I cry in wracking sobs! It feels like my insides have been turned inside out. Why doesn’t anyone care what I want?

I know I have to get out of there and be alone for a while. I leave and find myself driving along a street where I am swept into a set of driving tracks much like those on an automatic car wash. There is water rushing through the street. At first I am scared about my car being dragged along in all this water, but then realize it is a sort of amusement park ride. Next thing I know my car is being pulled up a ramp and I’m having a blast riding along and watching the attractions as I pass them by.

Now I’m back at the house, standing in my room. I notice my dressing table is gone. I look around and find it smashed. I address my mother again. “Why did you do this?” She shrugs and smirks, as if to say, “Because I wanted to, so what?”

Once again, I’m feeling heartbroken that nobody seems to care what I want.

INTERPRETATION

What immediately comes to mind is that I’m going through a transition where I am leaving a job I have held for 5 plus years where I built a lot of structure around documentation and process and I  know that when I walk out the door there’s a good chance some – or maybe much – of the work I’ve done will be tossed aside for something better. Of course this sort of thing happens all the time, but I’ve also been struggling lately with the feeling that my team doesn’t appreciate the work I’ve done. We always joke that this type of work is thankless, but to me it’s important, and it’s difficult to accept that others don’t feel that way.

Regarding my going off on my own and having a blast, I am leaving my job to do more artistic work, which I know I will enjoy immensely.

My mother being the antagonist in this dream is fitting. The other parallel to my life is my mother not being concerned about my feelings, and even taunting me with that sentiment at times. A particular scene comes to mind where I had traded something from my school lunchbox for a chocolate Jello pudding cup, something Mother never bought. I was so excited to have successfully negotiated the trade that I saved the pudding so I could savor it after school. Shortly after I returned home, I happened to be passing Mother’s bedroom and caught sight of her eating something in a familiar looking plastic cup. I stopped, aghast, and demanded, “Where did you get that?” “From your lunchbox,” she said, as she joyfully licked the spoon. I stood, frozen, knowing there was nothing I could say or do that would benefit me. Crestfallen, I turned and walked away.

Have you had experiences where you felt unappreciated and uncared for on the job or at home? Did it come up for you in a dream?

Dream: Getting Ready to Date

I am in a room full of people who are watching a live music performance. The room is set up with performance seating in front of the stage, then a wide aisle way between that seating and some random tables at the back.

I have been standing with a small group in the table section, but I decide I’d like to move closer to the stage so I can focus on listening to the music.

I don’t want to sit in the performance seating – it’s too crowded there. I see three folding chairs that have been lined up at the back of the aisle way between the seating and the tables. I sit in the chair on the left. After a minute, my friend George sits in the chair just to my right, but then shortly after asks if I will mind if he moves to the seating closer to the stage. I tell him to go ahead – I’m fine being here on my own. Just then I notice a very attractive, petite woman has taken the third seat, furthest to the right. George’s empty seat is between us. I turn my attention to the musicians on stage.

After a few minutes I turn my gaze to the right side of the room, scanning from the stage toward the front of the room. My eyes meet a guy whom I have met before (within the context of this dream) several times. It flashes to me at this time that each time has been just a quick encounter, and always with a strong feeling of connection. He is walking from the front of the room to the back, apparently on a mission, but when our eyes meet, he stops, backs up, and heads toward me. Big smile on his face. I smile in return. I am pleased he is happy to see me. He is tall, reasonably fit, with blonde hair and bright eyes. As he approaches, he literally crawls over the petite woman seated two chairs over and then onto the chair next to me. He is now lying, stomach down, with his legs on the woman and his torso on the other chair, propped up on his elbows. Somehow this puts his face at the same level with mine. I do not notice any expression or reaction from the other woman. My eyes are locked with Blondie’s. He leans toward me and plants a very deliberate, solid kiss on my lips, holding it for a few seconds for emphasis. When he pulls away, still smiling, he says, “Hello.” I say “Hello.” (smiling)

Now I am in a room upstairs, with my ex. We have been “just friends” for quite awhile, but he has always had a hard time with that. Ex is always wanting to “hang out” with me, and people who see us together assume we’re dating. This concerns me now (in my dream) because Blondie is downstairs and I don’t want him to get the wrong impression.

I do my best to convince Ex that he needs to leave; I want to spend this evening with my friends (who are not directly his friends). I tell him that I have met someone I may want to date, and I don’t want it to be awkward for him. He agrees to leave. I follow him down the stairs, and at the landing he pauses to chat with a couple of random people. Just as I reach the landing, he sobs, “My friend and I just broke up!” and then turns and leaves the building.

I am panicked, as my eyes search the room for Blondie. Where is he? Did he hear? Is there a need for damage control?

End of dream

OBSERVATIONS

This one is obvious to me – and I’m sure to anyone else reading. I am finally ready to date. But – it’s been three years since I moved out of my Ex’s house, and he is still hanging around and demanding my attention. While I will admit that I allowed lines to be crossed a couple of times in the first year or two, I have been very firm on boundaries for well over a year. It is an exhausting role at times, but I now know I cannot go back. That door has closed for me completely. I love my Ex. I genuinely care about what happens to him, and enjoy his company now and then. I am not “in love” with my Ex. I am ready to move forward into a new relationship.

I’m sure George is a part of this dream because the day after a recent party at my home, I got a text from my Ex asking if George was my new “boy toy.” I assured him he was not, and Ex said, “Okay, just wanting to get a lay of the land.”

It appears I won’t be able to date with my Ex still in my life. This may sound like a no-brainer to most, but I know people who have been able to stay friends of their ex’s. I guess it’s just not for me.

Mid-Slumber Visitors

I’ve had a few “mid-slumber visitors” recently. Each time I’m awakened by a noise of some sort. I feel like I’ve been in a deep sleep, but I’m suddenly awake and my eyes are directed to the place in my room where the noise has originated. There sometimes is also a visual queue – an image of someone or something while I’m still in my dream state just prior to being startled awake.

In my first experience, which occurred some time last week, there was no vision – at least not that I can remember – but just a very distinct noise. The noise was like the creaking sound a wicker basket might make if you sat on it. I was instantly awake and my eyes were on the woven seagrass clothes hamper by the window. Of course no one was there – just the two sham-covered pillows I lay on top of it every night before climbing into bed. I considered asking “What do you want?” but was too tired. My curiosity was not as strong as my desire for sleep. I rolled over, tossed around the idea of communicating for about another 10 seconds and then fell back into a deep sleep.

The next experience, earlier this week, included a vision of…something or someone…I don’t recall the image or really have any impression of it…I just know there was an image. And then a noise shocked me awake. This time the noise wasn’t anything I could define as belonging in my bedroom, as in the creaking of the hamper. The sound this time was more like a “pop.” And this time I “felt” a presence in the room – but just for an instant. My eyes were aimed at the corner of the room – where the noise seemed to have originated – but no one was there. Once again sleep won over any urge to explore the situation.

Last evening it happened again. This time I know the image that appeared in my mind before I was jolted awake was a person. And this time, when my eyes shot open they were aimed at the foot of my bed where I got the impression of the shadow of a person just fading away. They were not standing at the foot of my bed, but sort of floating over it in a way. It was almost like they had been sitting on the end of my bed slightly turned to their left so they could watch me. When my eyes popped open they faded away. I also got the sense that this presence was male.

These sorts of experiences have happened for me before, but not in many years. In those earlier visits I always felt the presence must be my mother. In one instance I was awakened by the kind of movement your mattress makes when someone sits down on the edge of the bed. When my eyes opened I had the impression of my mother, seated there – and then it faded. Another time I awoke feeling she had been standing at the foot of my bed.

Fear is never a component of these events – just a realization that someone is out there. I’m never sure if they’re wanting to communicate a specific message or if they just want me to know they’re watching. But I never feel threatened by them.

In my recent visits, my most immediate thought after realizing what just happened is, “I’m so tired! Why did they wake me?” I suppose at some point I’ll get around to asking them that question.

What triggers these sorts of experiences? I believe that when we begin to open up and expand ourselves spiritually, we open the channels that connect us more closely to our Spirit Guides. Back when my mother was visiting I was in that zone. I spent several years there, but eventually I shut down spiritually in favor of exploring a relationship. At the time I did not know I was choosing one over the other. Intellectually I knew even then that relationship and spirituality should not be mutually exclusive options, but that is how it worked out in this case.

The individual I connected with was not spiritual or religious, but did claim to believe in God. He mostly was a lost soul with an addiction who struggled every day to keep things in balance. We connected, I suppose, because we both needed something. He needed calm and balance, which I was able to provide at the time. I needed examples of unconditional love and “love of family.” That is what he brought to me. While it was not a conscious decision, I chose at that time to move away from my spiritual practices and just “let life happen.”

After that relationship ran its course I realized I had become stagnant in my life. I have since found myself back in a place where I feel the need to connect to Source and grow in my spirituality. And so now my Guides are beginning to make their appearances on a regular basis. For the last few weeks it seems as though each night I either experience remarkable dreams or get an overnight “nudge” from one of my Guides. I try to write each dream because within it there is always a message.

I feel I have begun a new adventure in my life. I’m very interested to see how this progresses.

Dream: I Can’t Keep Up!

2/16/2012

I am in my car and Ex is in his. We are both driving to his condo. As was typical for Ex in the beginning of our relationship, he wanted me to be in front of him whenever possible so he could keep an eye on me. We play a game of leap frog; him speeding ahead (because he prefers to drive fast) and me trying to keep up; then he’ll slow down a bit to allow me to catch up and sometimes pass him. I’m basically following his lead, zipping up the passing lane and then he’ll pull into the slow lane and wait for me to pass him and pull into the slow lane in front of him.

As we near the exit to his condo, he wants to ensure I’m in front of him so he can know I’ve gotten off and am safe. With me behind him in the passing lane he passes a car in the slow lane and then waits for me to pass him and pull into the slow lane in front of him. I feel myself getting nervous over the speed we’re moving, but I know I must get in front of him in time to make the exit. Even though I’m feeling stressed about it, I accelerate and begin to pass him, but then feel the wheels of my car begin to vibrate (which happens in my real car when I drive at certain speeds). This causes me to feel out of control and I ease up on the accelerator to make the vibration stop. The dream ends before I know whether I’ve made the exit.

THOUGHTS:

The feeling I have in the dream is that trying to “keep up” with Ex makes me feel out of control and I’m not comfortable with that. He is “driving recklessly” and I’m not comfortable with that. The terms “keeping up” and “driving recklessly” have to do with drinking. I’m not wired for the reckless lifestyle of heavy drinking on a regular basis. I can’t keep up.